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 Dear Dogs:

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KeyStoneK9
Big Dog
Big Dog
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Number of posts : 466
Location : Ontario, Canada
Registration date : 2007-10-16

PostSubject: Dear Dogs:   Wed Dec 05, 2007 1:04 am

Dear Dogs:

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two dogs in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesnít help, because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

_____

Rules for non pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets.


1. The dog lives here. You donít.

2. If you donít want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

3. I like my dog a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, sheís a dog. To me, sheís an adopted daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesnít speak clearly.

5. Dogs are better than kids. They eat less, donít ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, donít hang out with drug-using friends, donít smoke or drink, donít worry about buying the latest fashions, donít wear your clothes, donít need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the pups.
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http://keystonek9.webs.com/
Estowrench
Ankle Biter
Ankle Biter


Number of posts : 127
Registration date : 2007-10-18

PostSubject: Re: Dear Dogs:   Thu Dec 06, 2007 7:59 pm

Sounds like dogs. !xmaxs1!
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KeyStoneK9
Big Dog
Big Dog
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Number of posts : 466
Location : Ontario, Canada
Registration date : 2007-10-16

PostSubject: Re: Dear Dogs:   Fri Dec 07, 2007 11:44 pm

I thought it was cute, I found it on line. I didn't wright it.
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http://keystonek9.webs.com/
Spring
House Broken
House Broken
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Number of posts : 240
Registration date : 2007-10-17

PostSubject: Re: Dear Dogs:   Wed Dec 12, 2007 12:38 am

lol Keys, I liked that .... you sure fooled me ... I thought you were speaking from the heart!!! Razz Razz Razz
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Packov Dogues
Ankle Biter
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Number of posts : 152
Registration date : 2007-10-19

PostSubject: Re: Dear Dogs:   Wed Dec 12, 2007 11:40 pm

I can relate Laughing
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Dear Dogs:
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